From the very beginning I’ve gravitated toward all things Zen, oriental or eastern. From those days walking school halls totally disembodied, watching myself from above, to the present day Thai massages, which by the way have helped me immensely, inclination has been to experience things in a different way. I have tried every vitamin regimen, health food kick, exercise kick, training regimen, philosophy, psychology, health building self-awareness self-fulfillment instant gratification rock musical Chinese, Japanese, South American, yoga, in all it’s different variations, positive thinking, positive reinforcements, negative thinking, depression, drug addiction, anger, peace, understanding and every way known to mankind to find some sort of self awareness, or sense of being or purpose of whatever you want to call it. the funny thing is that I have found, only after a meager 58 years, that you cannot change much about yourself, your real self that is. You can change the way you act to some extent, your habits, your way of relating to people. But in the end, what you are is what you are. All that other stuff is just window dressing. You go through all this malarky because you do not feel comfortable in your own skin, and you try to out run the opposition. But it never quite works that way. You can run but you cannot hide. You can take the guard out of the prison but you cannot take the prison out of the guard. You have to find your own unique equilibrium in relation to everything else, you have to find a way to feel comfortable inside your own skin. All the gyrations, manipulations, and other self-finding adventures are just window dressing. You have your own mantra, your own sound that is in tune with and emanates from the universal vibration. You just have to find it. When you do, you will discover a certain calmness of being that is different from any other calmness you may have ever felt. You will start to see differently, and experience things in a different way; then you will know where it is you are coming from.

You Are What You Are